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forestdayhi ^-^
this is a fic commentary for i say, i loved you, i loved you
so i participated in the 2023 kpop olymfics as a part of team canon/future 1! if you dont know what olymfics is, its a competition where writers compete with fics using song prompts. there were a total of four teams with two being canon and two being au based. also my reason for participating was that i wanted to try a song fic for the first time ever and so why not with the support of a team behind me!
there were a total of 17 song prompts and with that i got my first choice which was voiceless by wonpil! my other choices that i wouldnt mind having were xiumin's brand new and ooo's skinz. i was drawn more to the lyrics of voiceless rather than the mv. the mv is not that canon-friendly skjfdshjf so that was also an interesting challenge to get the fic to mirror the mv.
while brainstorming for ideas for voiceless i decided to have dahyun get outed and shunned from the industry but she still cant help but cling on to the industry in any way she can. so dahyun becomes chill. i also flipflopped between datzu, dayeon and gen. as u can tell gen won out in the end to the surprise of no one.
other ideas that were floated were tzuyu leaving the industry which causes dh to want to fade away from the spotlight too, and dh who doesnt want to be an idol anymore and voiceless being the last song she releases to the fans.
that aside there were actually three versions of this fic! v1 had two chapters with the first chapter being what happened to make dh disappear and the second one being a verson of what happened in the fic itself. i was halfway through this but then realised that 1: i was running out of time, and 2: i did not like the vibes of the 2nd chapter. here's a snippet that didn't actually make it to the final fic even if i liked it quite a bit:
“You are Kim Dahyun, a member of Twice, my best friend, my family.” Chaeyoung’s words hold gravity, pulling Dahyun in despite her resistance. “They can’t take that away from you.”
the members are more involved in the chasing of dahyun in this one and nayeon actually doesnt have the means to communicate with dahyun. tzu is still the one who figures out who dh is masquerading as chill though! that said i didnt quite like the tone of this attempt at all sjkfhskdjf. i may or may not release the first chapter in the future as a prequel type thing in the pov of the members observing dh through it all.
v2 on the other hand, i just decided to wing it with quite a different vibe than v1 where dh is mostly interacting with one member (nayeon). i however realised while waiting for the posting period that it had missing parts and it was quite rushed so in the end i made v3 and fixed it up before it go posted for realsies!
okay now on to the actual fic finally askjdfhsdjkf i would like to preface this by saying i listened to the song and watched the mv like a total of 5 times jksdfhksjdf i dont think that im all that suited for songfics tbh but it was a fun experiment nevertheless! the lyrics i did go back to quite often though and the lines i liked the most were:
for the fic itself, i didn't outright say the full details about what happened to dh but i hope the implications hinted throughout were enough for people to figure out the general gist of what went down. dh's final straw being a black ocean is also implied and you can see her turning on the lights when there's even a hint of darkness. dahyun loves her fans deeply and to watch the people that loved her abandon her for who she is, is very :( you can see how everything dahyun does and says in this fic is still so haunted by what happened. she says things that she knows will push nayeon away but does it anyway so she can have an excuse to hate herself and stay away.
okay now onto the characters and the relationships! it took me the longest time to figure out how to incorporate every single member properly into this fic kajsdkfhdjfh. i'll just talk about my fav ones bc it'll take too long to talk about all of them sdjfhdksdjk
momo's section was actually the first member section i wrote and one that i liked the most surprisingly. my fav part was when dh tries to press her ear closer to the phone just so she can hear momo better even if its not directed to her. dh throughout this fic is always tackling how lonely she is and this part was really just dh desperately clinging onto something she cant have (in her mind). this section was also how voiceless gets started! dh channels all of her desire to talk to momo into the piano instead. there's actually a piano performance version of voiceless that wonpil uploaded if anyone is interested in that!
tzuyu!!! this one was liked by a lot of people and i can see why sdjhfsdkj so what we learn from this section is that 1. tzuyu knows that dahyun is chill. 2. tzuyu is a sweet baby and we must protect her at all costs. the most important part of this section is that tzuyu doesn't ask dahyun to come back. she just asks dahyun if shes happy bc all she wants is for dahyun to be happy even if that means tzuyu isn't even in her life anymore. if tzuyu had asked dahyun to come back she definitely would have but dahyun would just be miserable and tzuyu knows that!
and now nayeon. nayeon and dahyun's relationship is at the forefront of this fic and the most important. their dynamic in this fic is nayeon who refuses to give up on dh vs dh who has basically given up on ever going back to them. ny pushes, dh pushes back but most importantly nayeon stays! and because of that in the end its nayeon who she gives voiceless too. dh never truly shows her true feelings to others but she gives ny a part of herself that she has poured into this song because its a love letter to her and the rest of twice. its all the words she couldn't voice out to them after running away.
some fun facts:
- dawn was originally called dusk but i wanted to have a more hopeful title bc it was written at the start of her hiatus so i just went with the opposite ksjdfhfsdf
- there's a reason why its nayeon that dahyun is in contact with this whole time but that won't be revealed unless i post the prequel
- chill means 7 in korean (thank u for the suggestion ten <3). if u didnt know, dahyun is obsessed with the number 7 as she's the 7th member of twice (age-wise) and joined jype on the 7th of july
- nayeon would go on to have voiceless be her title track for an album and one kim dahyun is seen on the tracklist reveal of it
and that is all folks! god i didnt expect this to be so long and rambly but here we are. overall it was a fun experience even if i made people sad and im very thankful for all the people who helped make this fic happen (team cf1, ten, pb, isa, zebbie)!
this is a fic commentary for i say, i loved you, i loved you
so i participated in the 2023 kpop olymfics as a part of team canon/future 1! if you dont know what olymfics is, its a competition where writers compete with fics using song prompts. there were a total of four teams with two being canon and two being au based. also my reason for participating was that i wanted to try a song fic for the first time ever and so why not with the support of a team behind me!
there were a total of 17 song prompts and with that i got my first choice which was voiceless by wonpil! my other choices that i wouldnt mind having were xiumin's brand new and ooo's skinz. i was drawn more to the lyrics of voiceless rather than the mv. the mv is not that canon-friendly skjfdshjf so that was also an interesting challenge to get the fic to mirror the mv.
while brainstorming for ideas for voiceless i decided to have dahyun get outed and shunned from the industry but she still cant help but cling on to the industry in any way she can. so dahyun becomes chill. i also flipflopped between datzu, dayeon and gen. as u can tell gen won out in the end to the surprise of no one.
other ideas that were floated were tzuyu leaving the industry which causes dh to want to fade away from the spotlight too, and dh who doesnt want to be an idol anymore and voiceless being the last song she releases to the fans.
that aside there were actually three versions of this fic! v1 had two chapters with the first chapter being what happened to make dh disappear and the second one being a verson of what happened in the fic itself. i was halfway through this but then realised that 1: i was running out of time, and 2: i did not like the vibes of the 2nd chapter. here's a snippet that didn't actually make it to the final fic even if i liked it quite a bit:
Chaeyoung stops at a standstill, looking at Dahyun with an expression that Dahyun had never seen before. Is this what she missed in her time away?
“You are Kim Dahyun, a member of Twice, my best friend, my family.” Chaeyoung’s words hold gravity, pulling Dahyun in despite her resistance. “They can’t take that away from you.”
the members are more involved in the chasing of dahyun in this one and nayeon actually doesnt have the means to communicate with dahyun. tzu is still the one who figures out who dh is masquerading as chill though! that said i didnt quite like the tone of this attempt at all sjkfhskdjf. i may or may not release the first chapter in the future as a prequel type thing in the pov of the members observing dh through it all.
v2 on the other hand, i just decided to wing it with quite a different vibe than v1 where dh is mostly interacting with one member (nayeon). i however realised while waiting for the posting period that it had missing parts and it was quite rushed so in the end i made v3 and fixed it up before it go posted for realsies!
okay now on to the actual fic finally askjdfhsdjkf i would like to preface this by saying i listened to the song and watched the mv like a total of 5 times jksdfhksjdf i dont think that im all that suited for songfics tbh but it was a fun experiment nevertheless! the lyrics i did go back to quite often though and the lines i liked the most were:
- I promise myself, today, I'd let you go
- I say, I love you, I love you
- I say, I loved you, I loved you
- Asking you to forgive my selfishness
Is something I could never
Say to you, instead, I look at you
With the coldest eyes
for the fic itself, i didn't outright say the full details about what happened to dh but i hope the implications hinted throughout were enough for people to figure out the general gist of what went down. dh's final straw being a black ocean is also implied and you can see her turning on the lights when there's even a hint of darkness. dahyun loves her fans deeply and to watch the people that loved her abandon her for who she is, is very :( you can see how everything dahyun does and says in this fic is still so haunted by what happened. she says things that she knows will push nayeon away but does it anyway so she can have an excuse to hate herself and stay away.
okay now onto the characters and the relationships! it took me the longest time to figure out how to incorporate every single member properly into this fic kajsdkfhdjfh. i'll just talk about my fav ones bc it'll take too long to talk about all of them sdjfhdksdjk
momo's section was actually the first member section i wrote and one that i liked the most surprisingly. my fav part was when dh tries to press her ear closer to the phone just so she can hear momo better even if its not directed to her. dh throughout this fic is always tackling how lonely she is and this part was really just dh desperately clinging onto something she cant have (in her mind). this section was also how voiceless gets started! dh channels all of her desire to talk to momo into the piano instead. there's actually a piano performance version of voiceless that wonpil uploaded if anyone is interested in that!
tzuyu!!! this one was liked by a lot of people and i can see why sdjhfsdkj so what we learn from this section is that 1. tzuyu knows that dahyun is chill. 2. tzuyu is a sweet baby and we must protect her at all costs. the most important part of this section is that tzuyu doesn't ask dahyun to come back. she just asks dahyun if shes happy bc all she wants is for dahyun to be happy even if that means tzuyu isn't even in her life anymore. if tzuyu had asked dahyun to come back she definitely would have but dahyun would just be miserable and tzuyu knows that!
and now nayeon. nayeon and dahyun's relationship is at the forefront of this fic and the most important. their dynamic in this fic is nayeon who refuses to give up on dh vs dh who has basically given up on ever going back to them. ny pushes, dh pushes back but most importantly nayeon stays! and because of that in the end its nayeon who she gives voiceless too. dh never truly shows her true feelings to others but she gives ny a part of herself that she has poured into this song because its a love letter to her and the rest of twice. its all the words she couldn't voice out to them after running away.
some fun facts:
- dawn was originally called dusk but i wanted to have a more hopeful title bc it was written at the start of her hiatus so i just went with the opposite ksjdfhfsdf
- there's a reason why its nayeon that dahyun is in contact with this whole time but that won't be revealed unless i post the prequel
- chill means 7 in korean (thank u for the suggestion ten <3). if u didnt know, dahyun is obsessed with the number 7 as she's the 7th member of twice (age-wise) and joined jype on the 7th of july
- nayeon would go on to have voiceless be her title track for an album and one kim dahyun is seen on the tracklist reveal of it
and that is all folks! god i didnt expect this to be so long and rambly but here we are. overall it was a fun experience even if i made people sad and im very thankful for all the people who helped make this fic happen (team cf1, ten, pb, isa, zebbie)!
